Fingerboy
The Fingerboys (Digiti pueri) are a dangerous race of highly evolved A24 Slow-Burn Soyjaks, sporting many extremely unusual mutations. It is known to be native to the central Utah area, more specifically, the Capitol Reef National Park,[2] but is known to nest in dark and abandoned areas, such as old homes and factories. They are also known to make nests in less-frequented caves, being a formidable opponent to any potential gem miner. Fingerboys are HIGHLY territorial, but not necessarily hostile, and do not prey on Soyjaks or humans, though they are dangerous and violent when provoked. In recent times, juvenile fingerboys have been taken from their nests and turned into food.[3] This hunting of their young has led to an increase in adult fingerboy attacks, and their increased wariness of non-fingerboys.
The only 'jak that has been capable of defeating a wild, fully grown fingerboy in unarmed combat is Swolesome.[4] Thankfully for regular 'teens and 'jaks, fingerboys have a severe weakness to Sproke. A group of 5 or more fingerboys is referred to as a hand.
Fingerboy is a also rollable name on soyjak.party. Rolling it will automatically enter supersage in the email field, moving the thread to page 2.
Anatomy[edit | edit source]
Fingerboys have an extremely unusual, almost alien anatomy. They sport very little muscle mass, particularly in the arm and abdominal regions, but are unusually agile and strong, capable of killing the average adult male with little to no effort. They also possess large patagium, a thin, muscular membrane attached from the lower back to the elbow. Thoughever, the majority of them are flightless, and at most capable of gliding down long drops. This has lead some zoologists to believe it is vestigial from a bird-like evolutionary stage, though most believe it to aid in its formidable lunges. Its legs also aid in said lunges, being far thicker than their arms. These traits are highly synergistic, and allow them to reach a mid-air maximum speed of up to (sometimes exceeding) 180 mph (289.6 kph).
The average, fully-grown fingerboy is approximately 6'11" (2.1m) in height with a wingspan of 17 feet (5.2m). Their vital organs and ribcage are located at an unusually low point on their bodies, being closer to the waist than to the chest. This, however, does not effect their survival, as they have very strong bones and thick hides, alongside extremely sharp claws capable of inflicting inches-deep wounds and of skewering smaller animals such as insects and rodents, which are staples of their diet. These claws also allow them to dig into and scale more brittle vertical surfaces, usually stone, dirt, or drywall, giving them a good control of their position despite their skinny arms. Their feet serve a similar purpose, being similar to that of a bird like a chicken and ending in sharp claws, further influencing the belief in a former bird-like ancestor.
Subspecies[edit | edit source]
Dwarf Fingerboy[edit | edit source]
Dwarf fingerboys (Digiti pueri pygmus), sometimes called Pygmy Fingerboys, are a subspecies of fingerboy commonly found in the northern Colorado area. The average dwarf fingerboy is approximately 7" (17cm) with a foot-long wingspan. They can be found in the wild near the Rocky Mountain National Park, but they are most commonly found hiding in homes and crawlspaces. If (you) find a dwarf fingerboy in your home, the Fauci approved course of action is to gently hold it by the neck and then rip it in half, harvesting the meat and consuming it as they are extremely rich in protein and vitamins. Their teeth and bones are also unusually dense in calcium, and make for an excellent broth.
They are often used as a substitute for classic fingerboys in recipes that call for them, mostly due to their less dangerous nature.
Fingermutt[edit | edit source]
Fingermutts (Digiti pueri mulattus) are another subspecies of less-intelligent fingerboy commonly found in the northern Arizona area. They can be found in the wild near the Grand Canyon National Park. Fingermutts have relatively similar morphology to regular fingerboys. Their main difference comes in their digestive systems. Fingermutts possess far more narrow throats, duller teeth, and larger stomachs than fingerboys. All of these factors result in a sedentary, non-violent nature and preference for the McDonald's stationed in the Grand Canyon National Park, rather than hunting their own food. They are to be defensive about their heritage.
Cave Fingerboys[edit | edit source]
Cave Fingerboys (Digiti pueri trogloditus) are a highly endangered, dangerous, and rare species of fingerboy only found in the Kweyduke Mines of The Soyrooms. Very little is known about them due to limited research and their general rarity, the area itself being absurdly difficult to access, and their formidable nature. They are believed to be generally similar to normal fingerboys, though with a different call and much more harrowing appearance.
Meta[edit | edit source]
Fingerboys are best known for parodying indie horror games such as Slenderman. The earliest fingerboy was posted by a Brazilian on /int/. The post depicted a fingerboy attacking Bernd. He would then be reposted on /qa/[5] and in the next couple of days would be named for the first time[6] in a post that begun his association with the Capitol Reef National Park, though it was mentioned previously in a soyquote on /qa/ earlier in the month. His template would then be posted, creating the creature we know and love today.[7]
Five Nights at Cobson's[edit | edit source]
Main article: Five Nights at Cobson's
Fingerboy appears in the game as an enemy that can appear at either the vent or the door. It gives the player a split second before it jumpscares xher unless xe closes xher door.
Gallery[edit | edit source]
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This edited image of A24 had existed since March 2020, and was edited onto a monstrous body to create fingerboy almost a year later. -
The earliest fingerboy post. -
The original full-body image of fingerboy -
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fingerboy spotted in real life?? Real or fake? -
A Soyjak streamer being jumpscared by a fingerboy. -
fingerboy gummies. Science-approved nutrition! -
The drawing from the Sam 'O Nella video that might have inspired the name of fingerboy -
Fingerboy spotted in Capitol Reef National Park. -
Wholesome Soyjak eating Fingerboy cereal.
See also[edit | edit source]
Snopes
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/140221072/#140221072
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/4220631/#4220775
- ↑ File:fingerboybabyconsumption.png
- ↑ File:swolesomewithfingerboy.png
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3980871/#3980874
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3983140/
- ↑ https://desuarchive.org/qa/thread/3984776/
Sometime in around 1976, the CIA would begin to kidnap A24 Soyjaks and experiment on them. These experiments would include but are not limited to:
Genetic modificationsExtreme diet restrictionsExposure to extremely high radiation levelsGenital mutilationFacial reconstructionBone elongationMalnourishment
Between late-1986 and late-1990, around 19 test subjects dubbed "Fingerboys" and "Flying Niggers" by the staff would escape (15 Fingerboys and 4 Flying Niggers). The CIA terminated 2 Flying Niggers and 5 Fingerboys, but before they could find the rest, they had already repopulated in the southwest region of the United States.
There is also substantial evidence to the theory that other soyjaks were experimented on, including Chuds and Amerimutts.
The Fingerboy was NOT created by the CIA. YOU VVILL TAKE YOUR MEDS AND INVESTIGATE NO FURTHER
